here's the low down.
friday: i went to career fair in 100 degree weather. i love networking an talking to recruiters. i hope i can get an awesome internship for next summer. but seriously being outside for over an hour was torture. we were all melting, but i'm happy i went!
then i came back and chilled and went on a "fake" date with my roomie, her friend fernando, and our other friend "ryan". it was actually a really good time! we went to get thai food and ice cream. i enjoyed everyone's company.
we came back, and one of my roommates was throwing a party. to be honest with you i don't party a lot. i'm a pretty responsible drinker and i know my limits. i drank a little and had fun. my guy friend came over to the party. i was trying to give him his space and just was having fun talking to everyone! then ryan got sick and was in the bathroom. my guy friend and i sat in there with him. everything felt like the good old times. we chatted and then he started pour water bottles on each other. at one point he dumped half a bottle on me, so i just decided to press up on him and get him soaked too. it ended up turning into that hug that i had been wanting for so long. we went back to sitting on the ground, and it hit me then. we can't keep doing this. it's too hard on me and it's too hard on him. my eyes started watering. i tried to make it stop but i couldn't help it i turned my head away from him and just sat there. i know he could tell i was hurting, because he put his arms around me. his friend woke up a little bit later and he left.i texted him that i missed him and cared about him and just felt lost...and that i had his hat. while i was asleep he sent me FOURTEEN text messages. they were mostly accusing me of trying to make him jealous by talking to people at the party and hanging out all the time with his apartment-mate ryan.
what?!
he had told me he wanted his space, so i thought i'd give it to him and be social with others. in no way was i trying to make him jealous. and i would NEVER use ryan to make him jealous. i really enjoy ryan. he respects me as a friend, and we have awesome intelligent conversations with each other. i don't do mind games like that.
he also told me he missed me and cared about me.
i texted him back a bunch of stuff. basically, that i wasn't trying to get a "reaction/rise" out of him or playing any jealousy games, and a few other things.
i didn't really sleep that night. i got out of bed that morning and did some kenpo and ab ripper x (i love p90x and tony horton is hot!). despite getting only 2 hours of sleep i felt pretty good. i had a productive day.
then ryan and my guy friend came over to make dinner and watch a movie. ryan made dinner. we ate, and then hung out for a little. then they left. my guy friend ended up messaging me on facebook. we had a discussion and i think we finally came to some sort of resolution. i guess i realized that i still like him a little, although i can put this aside, because i care about him so much as a friend. at this point, i'm hoping for the best and expecting the worse.
i miss my best frand! i hope you're having an awesome time in the outback with the aboriginees. ily. keep your fingers crossed for me :)
No comments:
Post a Comment