the bestfriend

it has been just over five hours, and i'm back. maybe i'm already addicted? maybe my mind is just overflowing? maybe its just new and exciting? let's go with all of the above.

before i get into my issues, i think i need to go into detail about a few key players in my life. i want to start on a positive note, so i chose to go with my best friend. i'll just refer to her as my wife. i realize that i'm probably going to sound like a lesbian. i promise i'm not, but i do love this girl a whole lot.

i met her in junior high after a milkshake got dumped on one of the most popular girls in school. it was a perfect bonding moment. since then we have been inseparable. if anyone knows how to make me smile and be happy, it's this girl. i remember during my senior year of high school (2008-2009), the boy whom i had liked since freshman year really broke my heart. he had made me cry numerous times before, but this time was beyond those other times. this time i was an absolute mess. (i'm dating this boy now. go figure.) the wife picked me up and took me to the mall for the whole day, but it was so much more than shopping therapy that made me feel better. it was the the realization that no matter who broke my heart or how hard life pushed me i would always have this girl by my side. no one cares about me like she does. my biggest fear in life is love and caring about someone more than they love and care about me, and i am sure i will mention this over and over again. my wife never makes that fear a reality. when i'm with her everything is so straightforward and simple. she does things for me that no one else would ever consider doing.

the example that comes to mind involves my absolute hatred of birthdays. something always goes wrong on my birthday. it's cursed, and i guess i always try to set low expectations, so i don't get disappointed. so every year i try to maintain a low profile and expect absolutely nothing from anyone. my last birthday in november i had everything set up to have a low key birthday. i was going to sit in my room, watch tv, and maybe have a piece of cake. what could possibly go wrong? on a thursday night, after getting some sushi, i returned to my apartment  opened the door, and honestly thought i entered the wrong apartment. "why are there streamers?" "what are these people doing on the couch?" "what is the wife doing 5 hours away from where she lives?" "WAIT, WHAT?" turns out i wasn't in the wrong apartment. she had traveled hours and planned a surprise party just for me. i had no idea that anyone would exert so much effort just to make me happy. my birthday curse was broken. that weekend was probably the best weekend of my entire sophomore year.

i could go on and on about this girl. she makes me laugh, cry, and let loose. she, as corny as this sounds, completes me. she's my best friend, and i'm so incredibly lucky. i know she will always be there for me, even 40 years down the road from now, even thousands of miles apart...

speaking of which she's leaving for australia in about three weeks for about five months. i think it finally just hit me. if i said i was okay right now i'd be flat out lying.